What Society Has Taught Me about Doing Unto Others

I’m going to be 48 this year. Yikes! As I contemplate my life I wanted to share some things I’ve learned in my journey.\

We’re all familiar with the words ‘do unto others as you would have done unto you.’

Sage words, and yet so few people live by them.

Here’s what people have taught me:

When you see something at a friend’s home and you’d like it for yourself- just take it.

When someone asks for your help with something, like moving, tell them you’ll do it, for a price.

When someone hosts meal gatherings, and you know they’re on a tight budget- still show up, and when they ask for help in the cost- stop showing up.

When someone confides in you that someone is hurting them, tell them ‘it’s all in your head.

Make sure to tell your friends how you miss hanging out with them- especially the ones without cars, and you have one. Make this comment sweeter by telling them you’re some place just around the corner.

If you feel cheated out of your life dreams, do the best you can to sabotage someone from achieving theirs.

Put yourself first, no one is more important than you are- so go ahead and cut in front of that city bus because you come first.

Everyone is prejudice and racist. It doesn’t matter what the truth is, because it’s about the color of your skin.

Sometimes you have badger or berate someone to get them to see things ” the right way” meaning yours.

Don’t bother asking someone for their side, your perspective is good enough.

Opinions are more important than truth

I could go on but I think, that is, I hoe you get the gist of what I’m getting at. And people shake their heads wondering what is wrong with the world. People need to take a look around, and especially look at their own ways.

We say we want a better world but what are WE, individually, doing to make it so?

Examples from my own life:

The Maintenance man of my last apartment complex took of box of my DVDs. Sure, I can replace most of the movies unfortunately there were some I cannot. The point is, instead of going to a store and buying copies for himself- he decided take mine. The manager of the complex protected him.

I asked the folks at my church for help in moving my possessions into a storage unit. Two friends were able to help. Elizabeth Lee helped as she could. And then there’s Jana Erdmann. She wrangled up her sons and some of their friends. I was in absolute amazement at how she coordinated them. Elizabeth and I were concerned that there might not be enough room in the 5 by 10 unit. Jana and her team made it all fit with a little room to spare. No one asked for a dime. When I offered money, Jana said don’t worry about it.

What do these ladies do?

They are true friends, they know and understand the value of friendship. Outside of work, Elizabeth nurtures her family and friends. She is a daughter, and sister. She is patient, kind, understanding and when she doesn’t understand something, she questions.

Jana is a wife, a mother, a teacher, and a missionary. Even with her large family and home life plus church activities, some how she still finds the time to do missions. She teaches women, in less fortunate regions, how to use sewing machines so they can earn a living.

Now, who’s making the world a better place?

I am thankful to God for people like Liz and Jana. They are two women, strong in the Lord and yet so different from each other.

What society has shown me is very bleak and wrong in so many ways. What these ladies have shown me is that to be better, we must rise above what society peddles.

We need to start treating people the way we want to be treated.

If we want respect we need to be respectful. We need to show consideration, sympathy, empathy, and steer clear of manipulation, lies, and coercion. We also need to check our egos. While we may all be important, not one of us is more important than anyone else.

With this ‘me first’ attitude; realize that you do not have to be first in line. You will still get to where you’re going, even if you’re driving behind a city bus.

When it comes to opinions, we should look for the facts first. We shouldn’t make up our minds, form our opinion based on what one person says. Anyone who watches the TV show NCIS knows about Gibb’s Rules. One of them is about verifying.

Rule # 3 Don’t believe what you’re told. Double check

Colombo would say “just the facts ma’am’.

The lesson is short- we can make a better world by being better to each other.

Listen to the lyrics, or better yet, read the lyrics of Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror”

Even better- read the Bible. There are lessons in the Word about how to treat each other, how to behave. People say there’s no manual on life. There is. It’s called the Bible.

Even if you’re not a believer, the morals and lessons inside are invaluable.

Lessons Learned

In combing logic of 2 men I follow- I’ve come to this equation:

“We teach people how to treat us.” Dr Phil

“Society rises to its level of tolerance.” Jerry Doyle


“We teach people how to treat us by our level of tolerance ( or what we will tolerate from them).”

In result- I have decided to cut loose the friend I refer to as “Beta Bob”. He has certain behaviors and attitudes that I’m just not willing to tolerate or have reached my level of tolerance.

Without giving details, I found myself feeling more frustrated and or irritated with him after spending time together. There’s no love-loss, we had just been friends, but still- letting him fade away is for the best. Even someone who was just a friend can have a negative impact on our lives.